• You think you know someone then you find out it was a lie, from the very beginning. Then you find yourself asking questions, how could I not notice? Why did it last so long? Is it finally over? The suffering? It doesn't disappear on its own. You go to keep fighting, no matter how you want to let it all go. If it helps, let it all out. Scream, punch, kick, and bite. Just don't take it out on the ones you love and appreciate. Because sooner or later they will be gone, because they think you don't need them.
    I'm not always trapped. It feels like nobody really wants to take my side on anything. They listen to the smarter ones. I have a voice and I use it. That's why I don't have close friends. I have fists and I will use them for desperate times. I am not weak. I am strong. I will take anything life throws at me. Even if it means dying to protect you. I won't run away the next time you tell me to go, because I will help defend the fort. My family will back me up if I eventually get it trouble. As long as I was defending myself. It's okay. You said didn't want me to see you like that, but what happens if I do? What will you do? You can't kill me. It was a mistake.
    Now you say that I am snappy and upset all of the time. And I keep coming up with excuses. But the truth is. I'm tired. Of all of it. Not knowing what to expect. I'm going to keep going, but I'm not going to ignore the s**t. I want something out of high school, an education. I don't want to have to worry about you hurting yourself. Or leaving me.. I'm here but you make it hard to be. Cause I feel like I'm being pushed away.
    Does it really matter what I think? No , not really. I'm just the messenger. I find something interesting and I tell you. There is no harm in that. I'm beating these keys with cold fingers. Can you imagine the pain? Can you just take notice just this once? No, probably not. but you have to understand someday.
    I love you. I really do. But you make it so hard. I find myself wondering why I do. Now it may be because you don't listen or I'm always arguing. Yelling at each other from time to time. But how can we still find each other after the mistakes.
    I have lots of questions. You see, you'll never read this cause I'm too scared to give it to you. But what if I did? Should I take that risk? I want you to know , no, understand. What it is like for me. Maybe you'll just this once.
    Can we learn to understand each other again? How long will it take to forgive. I'm sure I won't forget. Do you remember when we first meet? It was art class. 7th grade. I said hello, you thought I was crazy. You were the quiet one. but soon that all changed. We became close until the following year. You pretended to be someone you weren't because you loved me. But you should've understand you didn't need to be. Someone else. I have loved you for you. That's all I want.
    Can we keep walking, slowly, hand in hand, until the end. My body trembles for your hand, but don't snatch it always. I tease, I caress. I love and I want to be there. Stop!! I repeat. STOP!!! Take a long look at me and him. Soon high school will end and we will go our separate ways. But it will be up to you to remain in contact. Think about it. You know who you are. And write back, my dear. And be honest with your words. For words speak the truth but, when they come from your mouth and by your hand, are they a lie?